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March 8, 2006

seriously now, i met him

and it's difficult to think about someone whom you think is out of your reach.Other than think about him every now and then, I just go silent. I don't talk this time. I don't know why. Maybe because somehow it makes me feel that I am, in a way, placing in a sacred pedestal our acquaintance.. or eventual friendship. Hmm. I don't know. I particularly like how he is boyish in the same manner my Tito Dodo or Uncle is. I don't know. I think I might seriously like him. Deeper, I mean. But then again, who can tell.. We've met, what, uhm, twice? Exchanged phone messages maybe ten times. And that's just as far as it goes. He is particularly very busy and preoccupied this time.. And.. well.. stupid me.. I keep thinking that maybe one of these days, we'd get to be together for at least a day and know each other better. Uhm, I think I don't sound like myself. This is not good.

I should just talk about the Siliman trip and making it to the quarter finals in thedebate, how I encountered my first real almost-zero in a competition, and how it's true when they say always stay so you'd get to 'redeem' yourself.
Or Boljoon and its heritage wonders. And the love story I imagined in the blockhouse, the baluarte with the vinta drawings.
Or how I've forgotten about Jim. And how he doesn't really make any impact this time, his presence only some sort of thin air that doesn't really get through me, and how it's true when they say that time 'heals'
Or how I have to plan out my schedule before graduating.
Or going to Leyte and staying there for at least a week.

I'm not me anymore.
I feel different, but not necessarily elated with the changes. Just plain this, plain that.

I have to finish this, I have to finish that.. My print folio for one, and then the paper
for the thesis, and then the video supplement. And finally, really really just forget him.

In the end, what?

1 comment:

Carlo said...

shucks. wrong timing. don't worry, i feel for you :(

just dropping by. but i do hope you do get to know him more. :)