I thought of something today.
Just for today.
It would be hard to keep a promise for myself.
I will use simpler words. I will get rid of the commas. I will quit the ellipses.
I will look at the pillow as just a pillow, not a bag of soft cloth where I lay my head, my cheeks upon.
Just a pillow.
Today, I hear the sound of a music box, the soft ting-ting-ting.
Today, I see a curtain with yellow flowers, dancing with the air.
These are what I have today.
And then my mind will drift back to the time when I wanted nothing but to go onstage with my gown and crown.
Everything that glitters is beauty. And I shall smile with the glitters.
I will climb up the fruit-tree.
Its tiny, black fruits will stain my shirt.
I will get wound marks from the barks.
But the black balls are sweet. And it shall be worth the climbing.
I will think of my long lost chicken-friend.
Except that she is not really lost.
She just got herself boiled in a pot; eaten.
But it's fine. Fine, still.
I will just laugh over our little adventure of finding food.
Stealing from the neighbor's house for chicken food.
And I will feel the excitement of sneaking up the back of the house. I will feel the soft pellets of brown food in my palm.
My friend, she's clucking now.
Today, I will not get in trouble though.
I will just sit with the pillows.
Today is happiness.
A smile does taste sweet in the mouth.