January 12, 2006

i think the moon might be sleepy tonight

I am sad, bored, and tired.
I think the moon is sleepy tonight. She looks light, just floating tonight. A silent and sleepy floater.
My happy days are gone. And I want to get them back. They fade again. Fast.
I haven't cried for days now. It doesn't mean there are no reasons to cry. I always find them, pop-up reasons, grabbing me by the wrist and won't let go. For days I haven't cried because there is work to do and people to please and things to finish and people to laugh with and fruit shakes to drink and people to give my silent sorrys to and pictures to arrange and people to dance with and dirt to sweep and people to exchange minds with and movies to watch and people to go to church with... These are all I have. It may be just enough to undo those pop-up reasons for me. But they tire me sometimes. The ungrateful child resurfaces.
I look at her tonight and she doesn't look heavy. Funny how she just floats there without the stars with her. The news said the cold winds will continue until February, ice melting from the other countries and this cold air travelling. I wish I could travel. From all of this. The moon, she travels there in her silent sky. I wonder how it feels to be totally alone like her tonight.

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