July 31, 2008

pa-ikyasa ko panagsa

I am ten steps away from a breakdown, I just declined from an interesting job offer for some U.S.-based organization, and I realize I am already 23, no longer 18, and expectations are rising.

My only prayer is that I be given enough time to self-assess my two years after graduation,
whether I know what I really want,
if I know how to get there,
and, ultimately, if I am willing to stay on track.

I need a spontaneous trip.

There are days when I can not trust notes of dos and donts and level-headed checklists.
Escape rides are comfortable, unplanned mornings inviting.
I guess it's because that random stop is your chance away from work, home, people you love, people you miss, people you hate, deadlines, the TV, blogs, poetry readings, the mall, fastfood, laundry, cellphone chargers, books,and all other things that summarize who you have become.

A clean slate means you still own yourself and that you are not entirely lost.

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