October 8, 2004

the lifeline lies in gloom

it's called spontaneity.
spontaneity in mood.
spontaneity in facial expressions.
spontaneity in writings.
and ultimately, spontaneity in the mind.
i appear lifeless perhaps. or too sad. living in darkness, they say. take it easy, they say.
take it easy. what is the easy way? and what is the hard way? how do i see the line between the dark and the light? the line between sadness and happiness?
there is a certain mood about my whole self which i cannot comprehend. and i do not intend to.
i cannot stretch the person that i am. i do not know how. a gradual process of love, understanding, and respect may move me to a brighter mood (as they would like to put it). eventually.

for the record, i have not written any suicide letters.
i still live.
i thank God.

1 comment:

yen said...

vera hija, darling bonita.... i suggest you look for a psychologist... why don't you meet a friend of mind whom i think is the right person for that job... Mr. jimmy pearlcil. he'll be glad to meet you. his clinic is at... wala syay buot street, corner nganung ing-ana ka, i'm over you city. tel no. 14344 no more.

tell him kaibigan kita.