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April 8, 2008

...

Lately, my days have all been about minute-rush rearranging of honest reactions.
Everyday has repeatedly been a circus of compromises.
I've been telling myself that it's all a matter of perspective.
All these tricks and planned strategies must be what they call maturity.

But I miss being happy.
Happy happy,

not grown-up happy.

I'm sure I was happy once,
I giggled every time I saw Romnick Sarmienta and Gabby Concepcion on TV,
I got my father to rent me a pair of skates even if I didn't know how to ride the thing,
I said I wanted to become a pharmacist on preparatory school graduation day because my mother is,
I believed by 25 I'll be living in my own house, driving my red car, and planning the next leg of my Europe tour,
I gave the beggar who sat outside church every Sunday a recycled margarine cup with rice and soup in it because I knew she'd be more thankful if I gave her food,
I typed on wood because I imagined I was a cashier and because I really loved the sound of those machine keys,
I thought if I'll rip off some pages and rewrite some chapters of a book, I could change it's sad ending,
and I believed deep in my heart that April 29 will always be a beach day for the family because it's my birthday.

2 comments:

Chai said...

i want to be happy without having to be on my toes for when it ends.

but ma happy man ko ig magkuyog ta, ayaw lang nang panahon nga wa ta kibaw asa ta padung ("nya asa man ta?" until 12 midnight).

wa na, dagang ulay na ko ani, friends na lang always ang show ko...

kingdaddyrich said...

tamang tama! patok si Gabby Concepcion sa TV ngayon