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March 27, 2007

anonymity

Because I do not have my own room, I find myself in too many different places in one night. And now I've grown tired of these places. People come in and out carrying their bottles of beer or cups of coffee like trophies of an independence and a freedom to paint the night beautifully unplanned. And then there are the smiles. Always those nods and smiles that make everyone feel they are not actually hanging from threads and threads of sadness, and - no matter how many stories and silent sympathies shared - anonymity.

photo by Russ, 'turtled' in drinks

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

nomadic, inom pa ver.how's iligan?

veraLeigh said...

na errol, ambot nalang.
what's with workshops anyway? i love them because i get to read other people (and i also get to observe alunan :)).

bitaw, tan-awon lang.

- litol figgy - said...

we often smile when we don't know what to do or what to feel. it's a reflex.

veraLeigh said...

ulan, really? :) **smile*

Anonymous said...

guess what ver, i still ended up sucking up to my pseudo american boss today. i apologized in behalf of my emails that sounded really mad. i guess yesterday, i was just too overwhelmed by my emotions and i hate the option of keeping it bottled up. i love expressing myself better now, but only that of my tantrum queen side.

but today, i loved. time moved really fast. two other bosses proposed the idea of taking me out of customer sales/marketing and making me the promotions manager. there are two ways to see this: they find that "manager" side of me or i'm not doing too good in customer sales/marketing (because i'm a self confessed tantrum queen). i said no and while at mass tonight, i tried to see why i did. first reason, i will have to work closely with somebody i didn't want to work closely with (he will be under my "management" but still...). second, i love dealing emailing people. third, i am comfortable with what i'm doing already (signs of not wanting discomfort.. yikes). fourth, i just wasn't too sure... bad bad reasons... if i have to put these in the bigger picture, i am about to see myself fall and eat everything i ever dared say. i wish i had your abs-cbn.

anyway ver, i don't understand this post. are you suggesting people who go to beer joints are lost and pretending to be alright? ho humm... you should read polyap's multiply (he's from updharmadown). he sounds like you, you sound like him. i wish you guys would write more normally, for normal readers like me. (hehehe by normal, i mean not those who lean too much on poetry...)

sorry if i received your call last sunday night with, "ayaw nalang anhi ver..."

veraLeigh said...

whoow.
ivi, you've always been a winner. essays for comments, huh? hehe. glad na nagbinuotan ang comment box nimo ron.

"are you suggesting people who go to beer joints are lost and pretending to be alright? "

maybe.

Anonymous said...

it's been long since i came contact with u. but how come i still hear you being lost in this world of faces, being tired of various emotions hurled at you that you don't even want to absorb - yet you still do. What's wrong? Haven't found peace yet? 09282162616

veraLeigh said...

09282162616, i memorize you.
i memorize your number.

i'm not that gloomy, just missing you.