i miss crying while praying.
these days, i sit facing a stupid computer, editing pictures, writing articles, figuring how to position faces plastered in numerous texts.. how come i live this kind of life?
why don't i just sit by the doorway, watch people pass by, watch feet, watch shoes, watch soles.. ?
why don't i just sit listening to music.. 'care for some 80s mellow sounds?
...i screw up my rosary moments with family, sitting with a blank face while they recite "hail mary", head slowly going down. sleep. sleep. that's what i do. argh. sorry God and Mary.
oh i do believe in Mary. sweet mother. pure mother of all.
but i talk to Jesus. it's Him listening.
He's watching me.. while i whisper curses as computer programs make shit all over my work, while i think of shouting while holding rosary beads.
He's there you know.
and He misses my tears.